Wordplay

I have Anna to thank for my levity for the week. She sent me a copy of the Washington Post's Mensa Invitation which asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Some of the winners were: 

1.  Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

2.  Giraffiti:  Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

3.  Sarchasm:  The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

4.  Cashtration:  The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Anna and I loved these but decided to come up with our own; I should add that part of the Mensa challenge was to take known words and give them unknown definitions [i.e. Willy-Nilly: impotent or Lymph:  to walk with a lisp.]  Here are Anna's: 

1.  Discipelines:  grad students who are blind devotees of a particular professor and her theories.

2.  Canine:  actually a mathematical formula (K*9) to calculate the cost of whatever's wrong with your dog, where the variable "K" equals the amount you can afford which is then multiplied by 9.

3.  Muilt: that special form of guilt that only your mother can make you feel.

Here are mine:

1.  Hintillectual:  A Rhodes Scholar who can't stop dropping clues about how smart he is.

2.  Crackademic:  A PhD student who was in her program so long that she started selling drugs just to get by.

3.  Fauxtox Injections:  What Californians receive when they don't want a better face -- they want a new one altogether. 

4.  Valetudinarian:  Someone who is brave who also shelves books.  Or, someone who shelves books bravely. =)  

Got any to add?